


Hanji and Ken 5ever

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, DO NOT READ THIS, JESUS BLESS MY SOUL, Other, Smut, also shrek makes a quick appearance., crack!fic, kind of, please help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 16:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4842938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just, truly, a work of art. I let my work speak for itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanji and Ken 5ever

**Author's Note:**

> For my dear, sweet, Chaelyn.
> 
> I am so sorry. 
> 
>  
> 
> Not really/

Kaneki-Kun was vv sad, he had just came to this dimension through a portal that his ex-boyfriend Tsukiyama-san had shown him earlier and said “Hey, Kaneki-kun, I be knowin’ u want this v luscious bod but ur solmate, they waitin’” Kaneki-kun sighed and looked up at his tol m8 “But Tsukiyama, I only want to frickle freckle you. Please.” But Tshu said “NO, KANEKI-KUN. I MAY LUV U 4EVER BUT THIS PERSON LUV YOU 5EVER THAT’S LIKE A LITTLE BUT A LOT.” So Kaneki-kun jumped in like Corbin Bleu in that one Disney movie about jump rope or some chiz. 

Kaneki-kun was so scurred when he was met by a smol-bean on the other side who looked like he was gonna stap kenki-kun real good. “LIL’B RAT” the midget said “I’VE BEEN WAITIN’ 4 YOU.” The smol one started to cry “Its okay lil’ one. Du not crie because of da love.” He stood toller, excited to meet this boyfrand. “Take me to yeah leader smol-bean.” So smol-bean lead the way and said “ur new datemate, theyre named Hanji and they like it when you touch their glasses.” And so Kaneki jumped in again (a little less like Corbin Bleu in that one Disney movie) “I HERD YOU LUVED ME 5EVER NEW DATEBOY.” And Hanji turned around “Boyfrand? Lil’ coon, I am your datemate.” “oh NO>” Kki-kun replied “How am I supposed to love not a boy?” and Hanji said “HSHHSHH LIL COON” and fondled kneki-kuns bum bum “OOH Hanji-san” he moaned “JUST LET IT HAPPEN, ANDY OU WILL LOVE ME 6EVER” and then Hanji took his her their pants off, and revealed shrek “WHATRE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?” Shrek said “Oh Hanji-san, put your shreckle in my booty” and so they did. AND it hurt so bad then Kna-kun said “Ooh HANJI THAT NO GOOD.” But then Hnaji touched his banana-coloured locks of hare and said “OH No, Knaajdn-kun, you’ve been a bad lil’ coon so im gonna punish yea.” And then Ksjnd-kun roared and his kagune flared up because he was so happy. “Hanji, that was totes amazed but I want you to feel v good too.” He reached up and touched their glasses “Oh askaf-kun, that makes Shrek feel REAL NOICE.” And then shrek spilled his hot stew into kaneki’s no-no hole. And then they lived happily ever after, 5ever.

L8er, sghgerhg-kun asked smol-angry-bean Hanji liked their glasses being felt so much ‘nd smol bean replied “Oh, tol-bean, I am so large and wise, so I will tell.” He shed a single tear. “Glasses is cursed with being genderqueer. Only the best and wisest people are genderqueer, I myself have a shrek downstairs.” He smiled “I only wear my glassesin the bedroom, but hanji so kinky.” He smiled “hanji wear them 5ever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, this is a joke. But I thought I should just point it out.


End file.
